XVII. The Star. [Reversed]

The Coffee Shop—MORNING

I smile at Andrea.

“What?” she says, “You look so happy.”

“That’s very important,” I return, “I’ve never been happy before.”

I am not sure if I am lying.

Andrea is remembering her re-marriage to Spike and wondering why things have run a foul again. She is now thinking of trying it a third time. I am telling her about how he was off with friends buying crack cocaine right before the last wedding as well hanging with his seedy friends at the reception as well.

Its no use, Andrea runs out into the street jumps in her car. Before she can drive off to the church, I race after on foot. I (we) have done this before and I know that the church is on the other side of the block. So if I need to I can cut across a parking lot and alley to make it there before her. I plan what I will say to say as I go.

As I approach, I see her ignition is not turning over and she is getting out again. I get there and take her by the arm.

“I know things are hard and I just make things more complicated but...”

I say this or something similar but I am at a loss for words. Instead, I grab her and kiss her, my tongue numb from lack of use in this pursuit of late.

Still, she kisses back and the taste of her saliva is encouraging. I take her home to put her sad form to bed and take care of her.

XVII. The Star.

Our Rooming House—NIGHT

I am still in the apartment, now timidly climbing into bed with Andrea.

“You are like a wave of flesh and compassion,” I tell her, but I then equivocate, Refusing the Return to normalcy, “This is false, of course. But you’re the only person, I’ve really known—”

As I make this confession, the electric desk lamp across the room bursts into flames. I remove myself from her rather matter-of-factly.

“But now, my desk is on fire and I must put it out.”

Four of Wands

Our Rooming House—DAY

Back from the road.

The door is open. I knock on the jamb of the apartment. But there is no answer, and the door swings farther open. I enter, surprised to find, not my Flophouse hideaway, but his familiar old apartment with its bed, books and laundry.

Missing only one thing: Andrea. My Ultimate Boon.

I come home to find maintenance has been in my apartment for some reason. The work order left just says “WE DIDN’T LOOK AT YOUR ELECTRICITY.”

I call into emptiness for her, “Andrea? Andrea?”

Then say to myself. “It is surprisingly empty, for Andrea, that is. Her stuff is still here, but a lot’s missing. Is she away? Keeping up rent on the place?”

I look around at her stuff longingly, then proceed to the bathroom where I at least spy Andrea’s dirty clothes left in the bathroom. I picking up the articles and begin to fold them.

It is mostly rote. I used to do the laundry for her when she was sick and I was lonely. I sadly sift through the pile of clothes. I take a pair of panties and gingerly put them to my face, nose. The front door can be heard opening. I am alarmed.

“Andrea? Andrea?” I gulp, “Spike?!”

Cut to:

XVI. The Tower. [Reversed]

A Flophouse—DAY

I am following Spike through the ruined apartment building and if I start to lag behind the strung out drug dealers and other no-goods lunge at me with switchblades.

Spike calls back to me. “I owe my dealer $2,000 and you will help me try every option to get it before I or we gets killed.”

I call ahead to him. “Your family wouldn’t have to live in this neighborhood, if it wasn’t for your legal fees.”

I pause in a well-lit area to catch my breath, and scan out the window. Outside, an old man in an electric wheel chair is crossing the street when a cop car pulls out. A cop jumps out, and yells, “Get outta the way!” The sound is muted from outside but I watch the cop run up and then kick over the old man’s chair.

When I turn back away from the scene, Spike is nowhere to be seen. When I look back out the window, I now see Spike trading blows with the cop.

But, not wanting to idle in the dangerous hallway, I inch my way down the dark hall, advancing on an open apartment door with a warm light coming from inside.

King of Pentacles [Reversed]

A Farm—EARLY MORNING

It is morning now. I think. Little light filters down here in what appears to be an ever increasing network of tunnels and catacombs under the farm complex. Mary and I have lost our Boss, masked as Anubis, whom we’ve followed after she slipped down a back stairway from last night’s party on the floors above.

By this point we are well past the typical dank cells expected beneath the farm and are blindly roaming a labyrinth of lavish hallways with red carpets and gold baroque trim.

We turn a corner to spot a meeting between the Boss and what we at first think are some kind of subterranean gangster-creatures right in the middle of the hall; they are big and round and bloated characters that we realize (as we duck back around the corner to eavesdrop) are really members of Spike’s gang, wearing large mascot heads.

Clearly there was a miscommunication between the Boss and Spike on the appropriate animal totem masks to be wearing for the event.

There is nowhere to hide and listen. We run off silently before we are seen, randomly taking twists and turns until we find ourselves entering through a panel into the rear of a ladies rest room seemingly back on the main above-ground floors of the farm. There is a stand of porno tapes and mags, sex toys and the like.

“Apparently the weird fetish event is still on-going.” I point out to Mary.

The female washroom attendant, previously unnoticed in the corner, speaks up.

“I set this table in the dead of night, when the orgies start to slow down. I make a few extra bucks of the lonelier members of the cabal. Not everyone gets invited into the action.”

“Hey, there is some kind of weird meeting going on down in the catacombs. I don’t suppose you would mind strolling down past it and eavesdrop a bit for me?”

“I will, but only if you buy something.”

Time is of the essence so I quickly grab a VHS tape and try to pay for it. The attendant shakes her head.

“Both of you buy something.”

“Okay!” Mary chirps and begins looking over some dildos. Slowly.

“Taking your time aren’t you?” I hiss, “Hurry up!”

“I have always been too shy to buy one,” she muses, “But since we must buy stuff, I might as well get a good one.”

“Hurry up, Mary.” I implore, as she deliberates.

“I am looking for a medium size,” she explains, “Because I am no stretched out whore, but I’m no spring chicken down there either.”

Exasperated, however I head back out through the panel in the wall. In the dark, now alone, I am confused by all the secret doors and hidden passageways. Two women in masks, one the goddess Bastet and one just a giant Kitty cat furry, come at me from behind in the dark and attempt to drag me towards an open shaft in the floor. Between the dark and the papier mache heads however, they have limited vision and I am able to swiftly duck under and around, instead shoving them into the cavity meant for me.

Suddenly the passage is filled. My co-workers, with torches, still dressed in esoteric robes and Egyptian masks. The Boss is at the forefront.

“Frank Trautman, you have been selected to join our ancient, mystical Order of the—”

“Ugh. I should have never worked at an engineering firm. Masons are so lame.” They hand me a script and chain me up loosely, then lead me to a larger antechamber containing a ceremonial altar, etc.

Sigh.

They recite a ceremony which I ignore. Soon they are all pissed because apparently it was my turn to answer from the script.

“Other. Not applicable.” I say glancing at the script, “Or C? Or none of the above? Whatever. You are a bunch of douche bags and I don’t want to join your stupid club.”

I break free and leave, heading back into the surface.

Nearing the ladies room again, I sense someone behind one of the secret doors and open it to surprise her.

It is Mary.

“Mary, are you in on this too?” I ask, “Listen, I know about all the hidden passages and the secret society.”

“You called them douche bags!” she hisses, “Well, you are the douche bag for walking out!”

“Whatever.”

“When they chained you up your fly was open.”

“So?”

“So we could all see how small your penis is and now nobody will ever sleep with you. Even Iris.”

She is lying, of course.

I am huge.

And I don’t care anyway.

Three of Wands [Reversed]

The City—DUSK

Spike is driving wildly down a City street in a neighborhood filled with kids on bike, skates and skateboards. I am slammed back and forth across the cab with his erratic jerks of the wheel.

Spike glowers. “I want to go hang out at a bar.”

“I want to hit a liquor store first, so I have an option when you decide to go out for harder drugs.” I plead. “Anyway, kids are playing everywhere so slow up!”

Spike continues barreling through the neighborhood.

“Watch! You barely missed those bikes!”

Another small child runs right out in front of the truck and disappears.

“Jeezus!” Spike mutters and quickly pulls down a side street. Did we hit that kid? Shit.

“What are you doing, Spike? You can’t leave the scene of the crime. Maybe it’s not your fault. I bet you must have some crack cocaine here in the truck or else you’d do the decent thing and stop to see if the kid was all right.”

Spike slows. “We got to think.”

But I look around and point. Behind the truck two cop cars can be seen crossing the intersection where Spike pulled away.

“They are awful fast in responding.” I say.

“No worries. The idea is that a guilty party would run and not sit on a side street.”

The cops pass by. Spike continues. “Anyway, the only witnesses are young kids. There is beer distributor on this street, so let’s coolly go about our business.”

Spike parks outside the WINES AND LIQUORS. And when I jump out of the cab, he tears off into the night.

I guess I have to walk home. I hope I don’t have to pass the crime scene. I don’t want to see or be seen at the gruesome accident up there.

XVI. The Tower.

Back In School—DAY

I head back to my old school, where I roam the Quad in distress. The grounds are abuzz with preparation for some event. Grounds crew are setting up tents and caterers are setting up tables of food.

But there is also someone for everyone it seems; everyone is laughing and joking and loving. I pass Anna, the Chinese girl giggling with a handsome teen on her arm.

“Even Anna Feng is cheating on her fiancée with someone new,” I grumble, “I am the only one alone.”

Anna spots me and leaves her beau to follow me. She calls out.

“Where are you going, Frank?”

I shrug. “To kill myself. Probably.”

“Kill yourself? Are you serious?”

I nod, and Anna takes my arm as she once did on the mountain path. “I know you have been sad for a long, long time, Frank. But do you want to damn your soul for eternity?”

A caterer passes with a plastic cart full of party supplies; I blindly swipe an appliance off it; the caterer continues, unnoticing. I hold up my prize. “Soul? I have no more soul than this toaster. I’m just—”

My arms drop in exhaustion. “I’m just gonna head off with this toaster to the home ec room or somewhere, where I hope to maybe find a tub or sink to electrocute myself in.”

Then there is some yelling, and everyone’s attention is turned to a window of a tall campus building, where my Boss is dangling a box of paintings and threatening to toss them.

“Frank! This is wrong!” she screams from the Tower. “It’s non-Christian! How can you put out this message? How can you unleash this evil on the World?”

Lightning flashes in the sky. I can see the Sailor come up from behind her and tackle her but the box goes flying anyway. I drop my toaster and run to collect the canvases and sketchbooks as they float heavily to the ground. I am embarrassed. Some students pause to watch as I scramble trying to get everything and stuff it semi-delicately back into the box.

I look at the paintings. They are better then I remembered, I think, but still the subject matter is—

I hold up a particularly a garish, slobbering monster labeled GLUTTONY in neon green.

—Perhaps too private for most viewers.

Finished I begin to slink back out of the Quad with my box. The Sailor is emerging back from the inside the building.

“Can I help you gather up the paintings?” he calls out, but I am already making an exit, “Where are you going, Frank?”

I shrug. “To kill myself. Probably.”

“Kill yourself—?”

“—You don’t know if I am serious, but I have been sad for a real long, long time.” I have heard this one before.

“Do you want to—?

“—Damn my soul for eternity?” I finish and answer. “Yep. I do.”

Another someone passes with a another plastic cart full of party supplies; I shove the box into the Sailor’s arms and again swipe another appliance off it.

“Soul? I have no more soul than this toaster. I’m just gonna head off with this toaster to the home ec room or somewhere, where

I hope to maybe find a tub or sink to electrocute myself in.”

I run off across the Quad.

Knight of Cups [Reversed]

In The Mountains—DAY

The Park Ranger is giving me a tour of the state park. He says he is taking me over to see the know-it-all old country doctor, for a laugh. However, the doctor’s office looks closed so we drive past town and stop at back at the ranger station near the crest of the ridge. The crew, who had been behind have now caught up, and are now also pulling the van up to the station.

We mill around a pollution exhibit in the lobby while Park Ranger secures our permit for work in the forest. I catch Iris giving a quick kiss to the new young field technician.

Up to her old tricks. I roll my eyes.

Iris realizes everyone saw and exclaims. “Okay, Okay, you all saw it. Guess it will be on the 6 o’clock news now!”

Ugh. Enough games. The Sailor and I go outside and down to the canal for a smoke while we wait for the Park Ranger to process our paperwork.

I feel guilty that company’s old field director is dead, but I am certainly glad to have been re-hired to replace him. I tell Sailor Lou as much. And we talk about being glad to be back together doing what we should be doing. Good science in my case. Just good work in his.

As we trudge down to the muddy banks of the channel on what has turned out a gloomy afternoon, the water is rapidly dropping revealing two large white cylindrical stone structures. They must have released a dam or something further downstream for this to occur.

Hearing the rushing water, the Park Ranger runs out, sees the stones and asks us what we think the structures are. The crew has tagged along behind, and they offer up some uneducated guesses, but I feel it they must be silage of some kind.

But, as we head out unto an overlooking dock for a better look, I reach out and try to scrape off some of the river muck. More is whisked away by the low but quick moving channel. I notice that the tops of some columns are becoming visible around the stone structures’ circumference. I point them out and then point out the capitol building in the City’s skyline, which we can make out glinting in the sun on the coast far below the mountains.

“It looks a bit like the capitol’s dome, without the top.” I point out. “If anyone has ever taken a good look downtown, that is. Could there have been a stately sister building way up here at some time, or were these defective or some sort of beta versions of the capitol that they’ve dumped in the mountains?”

XV. The Devil.

In The Mountains—DAY

My Impala putters through a narrow pass in the mountains in the snow and the car sways dangerously on the growing ice and I almost lose it completely when, coming down slope and around a bend, I spy two little girls on bikes. Managing to screech to halt without flying off the mountain, I catch my breath and rolls down the window to scold them. But decide against it. The car now chugs down the road, back uphill.

At the summit, I find the village ahead seems empty, deserted. And, getting out to look around, I make eye contact with a large black bear in the distance, hovering just beyond the house row. As the bear and I spot each other, he takes off after me. I run back to the Impala. But the bear catches up before I get there. I scoop up a branch from the ground and turn to swat at him. But it is no use. And the car is too far, I continue, now barely making it to the ranger station which I spy nearby.

Inside, I bar the door and turning I am surprised to find Iris sitting on the lap of a rather handsome Park Ranger. Very cozy by a potbellied stove. She jumps up as I enters, panting, “Oh! Here’s Frank now! We were just talking about you!”

The Park Ranger feigns interest, and coughs, “Yes, yes. Your work sounds fascinating. Just Fascinating. Perhaps I could get a picture with you for posterity?”

The bear continues to growl outside the door. I collapse in the chair as Iris and the Ranger move off. Iris returns to sit on my lap rather dutifully as the Ranger sets up a shot of us, but then pushes my head out of frame to get a shot of her coyly batting eyes at him.

Eight of Cups [Reversed]

A Flophouse—NIGHT

In this particular sitcom, I play the reclusive new alcoholic neighbor in the building, a scientist.

Of sorts. I wrote the episode myself.

Occasionally one of the women about will come over to make me some dinner and think I’m sweet and cute in my shyness. I’ll say how they’re prettiest girl I’ve ever met spending the evening with me is the best time in my tiny life. “Awww.” She will say “That’s so sweet.” But doesn’t really believe it.

So I’ll explain that I am an alcoholic and this is the first night I’ve been sober that I can recall. She won’t believe that. So I’ll show her the gallon of vodka in my backpack that I had come home with and stashed when I found her outside my door. Then she will be falling for me.

Damn I am a good writer.

Anyway.

Tonight the crew is going somewhere together, they call me from downstairs and I go down to the crowded car and they offer for me to join them. I turn it down. No need to be a ninth wheel. Sailor Lou gets out and tries to stare me down. I continue to back awayy but as I pass he jabs a finger at me and says he knows what’s going on with the drinkie drink. I tell him not to worry about a loser scientist. Nothing is happening and brush past back across the parking lot.

Next I bump into Anna Feng in the parking lot. I see her pull up with Spike, who drops her off and speeds away. Not sure what she is doing in the bad part of town. She says she has moved into my hotel. Possibly to somehow spite me I think. I am furious as we both head towards the stairs.

She makes light of how we hated each other by the end of college after she turned me down.

“We used to fight so bad!” she reminisces fondly. Since Andrea is gone is I am super horny and decide to get her into bed. I take her back to my place. She seems to be confusing nostalgia and love and is easily wooed. But it is perfunctory for her; she drops her pants and kneels before me almost as a matter of course. I have a huge erection and when I pull it out she sees it and gets excited too. I jam it into her.

When it is done. She excuses herself. She’s with Spike now, she insists, and is meeting him back at her place, which turns out to be directly above my room.

Soon I can hear their voices in the room above. Then it gets quiet. I decide will not listen to them have sex, so I go out unto the ledge and climb up to her window. Hoping to ruin their moment with my peeping or something. Spike leans out in a blonde wig.

“Hey Anna Feng,” he calls back, “Do you mind if Frank comes up to visit?”

Inside she calls back, “Frank, how do you like my new Arian boyfriend?”

From below I try to reach up and grab him by the throat with the thought to drag him out the window and to kill him. Inside she muses, “Sorry, I guess that joke isn’t so funny.”

I give up. Climb back down to my room. Not caring much were I to slip and fall. I collapse inside.

As I decide what to do, there are three distinct raps. A spirit? I think. But they are followed by woman’s voice asking softly “Frank, are you in?”

Am I?

It turns out to be Iris and Mary showing up at my apartment. Willie, Mary’s baby is in tow. They are tipsy and back from drinking with the crew. And wanting to check in on me after the parking lot confrontation with Sailor Lou.

Iris says she is excited to be a single woman for the first time in ten years. I do not know if she literally means she is separated from a husband or boyfriend or just out for the night, but my heart beats quickly. They sit on the couch and watch the TV. I sit on the floor in front. Iris gets close and I even am daring enough to stroke her hair when she reaches out and grabs my dick, saying “You’ve got to be faster than that if you want it.” But then she laughs. “I don’t want to spend my first night of freedom in front of the TV.”

I say I understand, and could easily throw on some clothes and join them, but I suspect they need a ladies night, to talk about whatever’s going on with the estranged husband or whatever.

As I mumble my thoughts, she instead begins to strip down to underwear in front of us. I plop on the couch next to Mary and halfheartedly cover my eyes with a pillow. Mary pulls off her top and bra, tits practically in my face. But she starts to breast fee Willie.

I don’t know what is going on. Perhaps they think I am gay or something.

I go upstairs to tell Anna to forget what I did before. I have two naked women in my apartment and am no longer jealous of her and Spike. She gets excited and says “Really!” and begins to rub against me. She suggests we go downstairs back and see what’s up. I think she thinks we are having an orgy or something.

It’s not a sitcom. It’s a porno. I think.

But it’s my Andrea I want. Not all these women.

I think.

King of Swords

The Library—NIGHT

I have a scruffy beard now. And I shuffle through the Library in my stocking feet, considering paperbacks by Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, and Hesse. The other patrons stare at me as if remembering me from the past. Maybe they do at that. However, I am now just a shiftless, thoughtful wanderer in a black-knit cap and pea coat.

And no shoes.

As I scan the shelves with a tattered fingerless glove, someone glides down the aisle brushing me as they go. I do not look up. Two more pass quickly also jostling me.

It is Spike, of course. My old nemesis. Spike with Guillo-Tina and Gunny Bill, no doubt. I know it without looking up. It wouldn’t matter if I did look around. They are no doubt back in the shadows somewhere. There are no lack of recesses and nooks in the dark wing of the library for him to hide.

“Watch it, Spike!” I call out, “I will hurt you, you Devil!”

“Oh yeah?” I hear back from no particular place, “I’m calling your bluff!”

I look up at last to find him stepping out of a shadow before me. I strip off my coat, revealing a tee-shirt and a few new muscles. He does not know of my Apotheosis.

I’ve been through the wars on my journey. I take up a fighting stance. On the road one has to learn to become something of a scrapper.

Spike continues his taunt, but he backs away as he does,calling “Remember, this body has a penchant for violence!”

“Wait!” I giggle as he backs nervously more away.

“What?”

“No, sorry I can’t its too easy.”

“Come on, what?” Spike is somewhere between fear and indignation. I haven’t usually questioned him.

“Okay. I will. But could you do it again? I mean say that line.”

“Huh?”

“You know, the penchant for violence bit.”

I take up my boxer’s stance again. Spike sighs, “Remember, this body has a penchant for violence!”

“Giving or receiving?” I laugh.

Spike howls as if hurt. “Oh, come on, you don’t really want to fight me. Do ya?”

“Coward!” I swing a big haymaker, cracking Spike in the head and hurling him into a stack of encyclopedias that rain down on him as he stumbles to regain his balance.

I blink. My mania subsides. Back to my senses a bit, I try to sort this out saying to myself, but this is just as much explanation for the growing crowd of on-lookers gathering from other parts of the library.

“I know that I am not cruel enough to finish him, but he still needs at least a taste of the hurt and humiliation that he treated me to, stealing and tormenting my Andrea so long ago.”

No one says different. I push through the crowd, who now start to yell and egg the fight on. From the corner of my eye as I leave, I see that Spike is now back up.

He runs up and takes a punch that bounces off my head. I turn and slam a fist into his face. He staggers, and I grab him by the back of the neck and slam him into the wall. Once. Twice. Then I let him drop to the ground. I glower down at his prone body, enjoying the horrified silence of both the horrified library patrons and his entourage, Bill and Tina, who have also emerged from the recesses to see what the damage is.

Ten of Pentacles [Reversed]

A Farm—EVENING

I cannot find the crew. I think Sailor Lou must have taken them up to the general store in the village to have a couple beers with the locals, since it is past dark and they have not been back yet.

But suddenly they pull up in the crew van and are clambering out. They have two weird creatures in a cage.

“Ever see one of these?” Lou asks setting the cage down. They are spiky or fluffy and prehistoric looking with large back legs.

“Are they armadillos or something?”

“No,” the Sailor chuckles, “They are newly hatched turkeys.”

“Much larger than I would have guessed. They look sick.”

One is missing and eye. I bend down to get a closer look in the cage. The one-eyed one begins to squawk when I put a hand on the bars. It sounds almost like a parrot talking, saying something like “Get off, fattie!”

Four of Cups [Reversed]

Back In School-NIGHT

Seeing no one I dash across the now-darkened intersection I pass between two sleeping dormitory style houses and scale a small, dilapidated chain link and barbed wire fence.

As I do so, the fear of tetanus, briefly flashes through my mind, followed by a second fear of landing in broken glass, dog shit or anything hard, disgusting or pointy. Still, I blindly leap over the fence and into the bushes at the edge of the quad.

I land crouched and remain still, plotting my next move. A dog barks—but not viciously. More like he wants to play, but I’ve still got to cross the exposed quad before I reach safe haven in the form of an unlocked university building, and I can’t have my cover blown.

Fear wanes as I survey the empty quad before me from the bushes. I untangle myself from the branches and walk quickly as possible across the lawn to the cafeteria, trying not to attract too much attention.

Looking for a familiar face as I enter the dining room, I catch one passing me in the corner of my eye as she leaves the restroom. And I turn.

“Hey, Iris what’d you do with your hair?”

It is now even much more reddish than its old red color and she has it in two pigtails. Though she misses the question, she spots me as she sits at a table.

“Hey, Frank. We were hoping to bump into you. We could use your help.”

“We?” I wonder, then a giggle to my right reveals her partner in crime, Andrea. I pull up a chair across from Andrea.

“Well, no one has to pull my arm to help out a couple of lovely young ladies.” Embarrassed, Andrea stifles a smile by staring at her plate. I smile too. Andrea must need help on her video project. And I would like her to help on mine, too. We’d make a good team.

The bell rings and I make a quick goodbye and exit, hoping to use the cover of the moving crowd. I leave the cafeteria. In the hall someone keeps stepping on the backs of my shoes.

“Alright, who’s giving me the flat tire?” I exclaim and turn to find Iris. She giggles, shyly.

“She must like me a lot,” I think, “To ditch Andrea and follow. She shows it like a little boy pulling girls’ hair.”

I fall back and hug her and ask what that was all about stepping on my heels. She asks why I’d left the cafeteria so suddenly. I shrug and she takes me by the hand and leads me back to the dining room.

But getting back, and wondering where to sit again, I see some lunch trash on the table. Most prominent is a pile of bacon on a napkin. I remember that was Andrea’s place and feel guilty again. But instead now Iris plops down to claim the bacon and the seat. I get up and leave again to avoid her Iris’ craziness and look for Andrea.

On the window sill are some free drink coupons for the nearby bar. THE BELLY OF THE WHALE BAR it’s called.

Odd name for a bar.

Seven of Swords [Reversed]

The Market—DAY

Andrea is back around.

She’s called me and asked if I could meet her at the Market. She would be very happy if I can help haul a full shopping cart of books she doesn’t want back to the store for her. Over the course of several weeks and several trips she had taken them out to see if she could use them for her class. She couldn’t. Now she has a trunk-full and needs help getting them out.

I am excited to see Andrea again and will do anything to be near her. So here I am pushing a shopping cart overflowing with books around the store.

About three teen males are running the customer service counter and they ignore the growing line of patrons. Finally one clerk gives in and goes to the first clueless young guy in the line. The guy has a long list of books and doesn’t know how to find any of them. The clerk’s hostility will only make the task take even longer, but I hope he helps the poor dude. I also hope that another clerk will quit talking and help a customer.

I look around and Andrea is gone. Left me again.

Worse.

I look around and find Spike is around once again. Up to his old habits no doubt. Sniffing around the stacks looking for trouble.

And dirty magazines.

Now I see Andrea re-enter the store from god knows where and I feel like I have failed her. No doubt, when I tell her that I am still trying to get some assistance, she will easily flag a clerk over to help with her cute squeaky voice, and get immediate service.

Though I love her and want to be with her, I am nervous about the marriage. Unable to escape her craziness. Still waiting in line, I take an extra Valium and chat with someone while trying to get my courage up.

She’s waving to somebody she knows.

Spike. No doubt.