Eight of Cups [Reversed]

A Flophouse—NIGHT

In this particular sitcom, I play the reclusive new alcoholic neighbor in the building, a scientist.

Of sorts. I wrote the episode myself.

Occasionally one of the women about will come over to make me some dinner and think I’m sweet and cute in my shyness. I’ll say how they’re prettiest girl I’ve ever met spending the evening with me is the best time in my tiny life. “Awww.” She will say “That’s so sweet.” But doesn’t really believe it.

So I’ll explain that I am an alcoholic and this is the first night I’ve been sober that I can recall. She won’t believe that. So I’ll show her the gallon of vodka in my backpack that I had come home with and stashed when I found her outside my door. Then she will be falling for me.

Damn I am a good writer.

Anyway.

Tonight the crew is going somewhere together, they call me from downstairs and I go down to the crowded car and they offer for me to join them. I turn it down. No need to be a ninth wheel. Sailor Lou gets out and tries to stare me down. I continue to back awayy but as I pass he jabs a finger at me and says he knows what’s going on with the drinkie drink. I tell him not to worry about a loser scientist. Nothing is happening and brush past back across the parking lot.

Next I bump into Anna Feng in the parking lot. I see her pull up with Spike, who drops her off and speeds away. Not sure what she is doing in the bad part of town. She says she has moved into my hotel. Possibly to somehow spite me I think. I am furious as we both head towards the stairs.

She makes light of how we hated each other by the end of college after she turned me down.

“We used to fight so bad!” she reminisces fondly. Since Andrea is gone is I am super horny and decide to get her into bed. I take her back to my place. She seems to be confusing nostalgia and love and is easily wooed. But it is perfunctory for her; she drops her pants and kneels before me almost as a matter of course. I have a huge erection and when I pull it out she sees it and gets excited too. I jam it into her.

When it is done. She excuses herself. She’s with Spike now, she insists, and is meeting him back at her place, which turns out to be directly above my room.

Soon I can hear their voices in the room above. Then it gets quiet. I decide will not listen to them have sex, so I go out unto the ledge and climb up to her window. Hoping to ruin their moment with my peeping or something. Spike leans out in a blonde wig.

“Hey Anna Feng,” he calls back, “Do you mind if Frank comes up to visit?”

Inside she calls back, “Frank, how do you like my new Arian boyfriend?”

From below I try to reach up and grab him by the throat with the thought to drag him out the window and to kill him. Inside she muses, “Sorry, I guess that joke isn’t so funny.”

I give up. Climb back down to my room. Not caring much were I to slip and fall. I collapse inside.

As I decide what to do, there are three distinct raps. A spirit? I think. But they are followed by woman’s voice asking softly “Frank, are you in?”

Am I?

It turns out to be Iris and Mary showing up at my apartment. Willie, Mary’s baby is in tow. They are tipsy and back from drinking with the crew. And wanting to check in on me after the parking lot confrontation with Sailor Lou.

Iris says she is excited to be a single woman for the first time in ten years. I do not know if she literally means she is separated from a husband or boyfriend or just out for the night, but my heart beats quickly. They sit on the couch and watch the TV. I sit on the floor in front. Iris gets close and I even am daring enough to stroke her hair when she reaches out and grabs my dick, saying “You’ve got to be faster than that if you want it.” But then she laughs. “I don’t want to spend my first night of freedom in front of the TV.”

I say I understand, and could easily throw on some clothes and join them, but I suspect they need a ladies night, to talk about whatever’s going on with the estranged husband or whatever.

As I mumble my thoughts, she instead begins to strip down to underwear in front of us. I plop on the couch next to Mary and halfheartedly cover my eyes with a pillow. Mary pulls off her top and bra, tits practically in my face. But she starts to breast fee Willie.

I don’t know what is going on. Perhaps they think I am gay or something.

I go upstairs to tell Anna to forget what I did before. I have two naked women in my apartment and am no longer jealous of her and Spike. She gets excited and says “Really!” and begins to rub against me. She suggests we go downstairs back and see what’s up. I think she thinks we are having an orgy or something.

It’s not a sitcom. It’s a porno. I think.

But it’s my Andrea I want. Not all these women.

I think.